The first agreement in the book, The Four Agreements, by Don Miguel Ruiz asks that you be impeccable with your word.

Be impeccable with your word – Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

I translate this to mean more than he does: I like to cultivate the idea that no one has limits except those we impose on ourselves. Others will try to impose their limits on you through their words and thoughts. You have the power to ignore or to counteract those limitations in how you think of yourself and in how you think of those around you.

Recently, a client of mine expressed an irritation with his parents to me. I told him that his parents could not see beyond the boundaries of their own limitations. His parents’ limitations come out in their words, which equal their thoughts. They cannot see beyond the limits of their thoughts. Why is this? Because the thoughts that they have practiced so long have hardened into beliefs. The beliefs practiced so long have become their reality.

He is right to be irritated, because he senses that if he listens too long to them, their negative beliefs will become his own. However, I encouraged him to see that his parents may have no other way to express their love and concern.

How do other people’s limitations become our own? Listen to these examples:

“You look good, for your age.”

“She can’t help being overweight, it runs in her family.”

“I am too old / young to ______ .” (put your own conditional in here)

“I am not ________ enough to be successful.” (put your own conditional in here)

“I am too ________ to be pretty.” (put your own conditional in here)

“Women / Men only like men / women who are ________” (put your own conditional in here)

What Don Miguel Ruiz is referring to by impeccability has more to do with your inner thoughts than what comes out of your mouth. In fact, what becomes conscious verbage is only the tip of the proverbial iceberg of internal dialog. How would you rewrite those conditional statements? Without conditional limitations, how would the script of your life read?

Check your thoughts hourly to see how you apply conditionals to yourself and to others. Keep notes about your internal dialog in a little notebook. When you find yourself applying a conditional to another person, check out how your own limited ego is dictating these words to your brain. It’s bizarre how many limitations we apply to ourselves everyday in our thoughts.

Don’t let the excuses of others to limit you. Don’t let your excuses limit others. Be impeccable with your thoughts and your life will change. Instead of seeing only limitations, you will be standing on the edge of the known world with a broad horizon of endless opportunities stretching out before you.

Copyright 2009 Aliyah Marr



Aliyah Marr is a Life Path Consultant and Creative Projects Advisor available for private consultations and transformational readings.

“What do you want to create today?”

I coach artists, designers, authors, and entrepreneurs. With a solid background in marketing, design, coaching and writing, I help individuals throughout the entire creative process all the way from developing their personal vision to establishing their personal brand and marketing their product/service.

If you have a creative project that you want to develop, market, or promote, contact me through my website: References are available upon request.