Does life seem unfair to you? How many times have you seen someone receive unjust rewards while another person goes hungry for love, money or simple appreciation?

I’ll never forget the day that I discovered the three principles of emotions: that all emotions are valid, that they are supposed to flow freely, and that it is better to not to judge yourself for having them. Soon after, I found a very effective way to step out of them. When I felt myself get tearful, I would simply state quietly, “Ah, I am emoting,” and it would stop me long enough to step outside of my habit, so that I could observe the emotion and its trigger.

This little in-the-moment detachment technique proved very effective; it allowed me to break the habit of emotional reactivity. Now I understand that I have the power in any circumstance and in every moment to choose my thoughts and my emotions.

The nicest thing about my solution was that I created it out of my own need to both express my emotions and detach myself from them. You can choose a different way to step outside of your habits, and give yourself a chance to change. The act of creating a solution tailored to your own personality and needs is just as important as the technique’s ultimate effectiveness.

If you find this too difficult at this time it means that you do not have enough energy yet to make such a big change. So just focus on a negative thought the next time one arises. The emotional charge connected to the thought has made it noticeable; one may say that it shines, like a light in the dark.

Just sit with it, and feel it as energy in your body. Don’t think about it, just put your full consciousness on the energy; follow it as it leaves your body. Be aware of it as energy, meditate without thinking, and you will gain immediate relief from the negative emotion.

Copyright 2009 Aliyah Marr